She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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