just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's never too late to be topless.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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