I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
