So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
