it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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