Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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