And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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