The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
