I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
