woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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