I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
