the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize