please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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