Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
