please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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