Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
