chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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