LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
