everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
