I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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