she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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