i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
