it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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