let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
