Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
