I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
