...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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