Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
