Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
