Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My ass is underappreciated
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
