Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
