She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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