Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
