it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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