I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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