Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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