She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
