a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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