Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We had to coat check the pizza.
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I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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