how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
