I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize