We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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