See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am available for nakedness
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
