Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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