i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it's great music for shaving your balls
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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