also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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