He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
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