i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
