I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
