also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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