I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
