Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
