...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
