when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
