"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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