bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
