u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
