I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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