Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
