I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
