dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
