it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize