walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
