and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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