Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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