Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
