OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
