tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize