i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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